keep scrolling babe, you'll find it

Part of ‘dear almost everything’— a series of letters on becoming.

we are in a loneliness epidemic. majority of us crave human connection without knowing how to seek it. with the lack of privacy and a certain mystery, everyone is too accessible. perhaps, we misinterpret this accessibility as already knowing everything about others and therefore, never reaching out to find who they really are.

human interaction is no longer interesting. we’ve made our selves, our ‘engineered selves’, so available that we’re no longer capable of indulging in the art of discovering one another.

when i scroll through my instagram feed, i find posts and reels about people i see on a daily basis. whether it is a closed-door college mentality or not, i find it severely misleading. yes, person A loves coffee and trekking, but their self-love quotes on their story sharply misalign with their real-life, self-hating personality.

our human interaction has receded to such an extent that a simple “like” on a story is supposed to portray interest. in my opinion, that is not only pathetic but also backwards.

i might come off as judgmental or pretentious, but i want you to think. for the next week or so, try to identify a major gap in how people portray themselves on social media and who they are in real life. the longer you do this, the more exponential your distancing from these platforms becomes.

having spent majority of my life of social platforms, churning out unasked-for opinions on twitter, scrolling for a million meters on reels, and having made many musical.ly (rip, with love), it’s safe to say, i too, am a product of the internet.

its not as though we don’t identify this as a problem. the internet has even come up with a term for it: ‘doom scrolling’.

there’s a reel on ig where the OC talks about having “depression tea” with her friend, and the mother calls her downright pathetic (endearingly, of course). but it’s true, much of this is, in fact, pathetic.

the newer generation does not want to listen stories about a supposed world where tiktok didn’t exist, and computers where giant boxes with limited capabilities. they want to be left alone.

which, i concede, i understand. i used to hate oldies calling my time on the internet lame too. i grew up in a house where having a facebook profile was seen as a crime. we used to create accounts under names like ‘angelina lockhart’ just to get through dinner in peace. (again, rip facebook).

so i’ve been in both camps. one that loves the internet and one that sees it as the bane of all existence.

i used to read these posts on facebook speculating about what would happen if the internet suddenly collapse globally.

“the stock market would crash, economies would collapse, the entire earth would fall debt. we’d lose the ability to communicate and therefore return to a time when sea sailing felt like venturing into an unknown realm.

hardly.

i read an article on substack, which talked extensively about the history of maps. apparently earlier maps included stories of ‘outer worlds’ and ‘forbidden land of the beasts’. lmao? but facts, been there, done that.

a medieval map of Scandinavia and Northern Europe, darwn drawn by Olaus Magnus in 1527-39.

if the internet stopped being a thing i would have to go back to my journal instead of being on substack.

every time i open an app, whether it be instagram, or substack, i ask myself ‘what am i looking for? is it validation, connection or just a remedy to boredom?’

almost always, it is all three.

and isn’t that a little embarrassing? nearing 25 and looking for connection in a place where most people are seeking validation, curating appea; and showing off their most recent purchase.

i’ve also done the ‘delete all social medias’ phase. i’ve successfully left snapchat, facebook and twitter.

instagram and i have a love-hate relationship. between my poetry page and small business, i can’t fully part ways. but i hate that app, resent it.

it shows me reels of japan, a place i’ve never been to, the inside of a volcano which i shouldn’t know what it looks like in this lifetime, it teaches me hate and exposes me to a thousand inhumane accounts supporting genocide.

but it also brings me sales. so here we are.

so every time i’m by myself and my thumbs find it’s way on instagram, i put the damn phone down and log onto substack on my computer.

i’ve seen so many notes criticizing others who called doom scrolling on substack as ‘bloom scrolling’ which fair enough, is also a social platform.

so what is it that you’re hoping to find?

the jokes are drawn out, the cute pet reels are almost all ai generated now. the recipes are saved and never tried.

what is it that you’re looking for and have you found it?

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this is an extensively researched article by Kylee on substack, on maps and their history. i had an blast reading it.

why maps lie: the intersection of cartography & power

this article was my favorite read this month. it’s an incredible take on finding self, which itsmichelled_ talks about through a series of her own life experiences. please read it, if you can find the time.

wherever you go, there you are

Halyna ‘s article about the problematic internet culture had me chuckling like a baby. if you’re looking for a tea time pal, this is it.

the internet’s favorite personality trait: being different

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